Tom's Mumblings

I started smoking cigarettes in high school, at 16. I did it because my friends did it and it made us look cool, and the girls would flirt and come over to bum cigarettes off us. We were cool.

I got older and everyone at work smoked. Gees, those were the days. In the conference room, everybody smoked. You couldnt even see each other because the room was so smoky. I dont know how we did it. Plus our clothes must have reeked!!

Then we had people who had allergies and didnt want to be around the smokers. We could no longer smoke at our desks. We were told we could only smoke in the break rooms. So everyone started smoking in the break rooms. Then the employees who didnt smoke complained they couldnt eat in the same room with everyone smoking in there. So then they told us we had to go outside the building or out on the patios to have a cigarette. So we did that.

Then youd get in the elevator to go back to your office and youd realize how much you stunk when the elevator door closed. It was horrible. Your fingers smelled terrible. Your breath was bad. You were a mess.

I was wheezing at night, had a smokers cough and I just began to hate being a smoker. I smoked at clubs (in the disco days) when I had a drink, but I really didnt smoke that much during working hours anymore. But having a smoke after sex, eating and with a drink was okay.

This went on for a few more years and then I just had enough of it all. I quit cold turkey. One day I just said, Thats it. Enough. Im done.

Now I cannot stand being around smokers. They are rude. Theyll blow smoke in your face. Theyll put their cigarette butts out on your lawn, on the sidewalk, your planter boxes. They dont care. Theyre disgusting. They try to smoke in your car and your house, but they dont smoke in their house.

I will not date a smoker. I can smell them anywhere on anyone, and will not tolerate it. I cant even believe I used to be one. I find it so offensive now. None of my friends smoke and when people ask me if I mind if they do, I tell them, Yes, I do. Please dont do it around me. Some get bitchy, but I dont care. I have the right to breathe. If you want to breathe in my space, then you dont bring your cigarettes in it.

I just had to write and tell you how great my wife is. The best decision I ever made was to marry her. She completes me in so many ways. She understands me. She is my cheerleader when I need one; my crying towel when I feel the need to bitch and moan. When I make the wrong decision, she never says, I told you so. She says, Well, better luck next time.

She always greets me with a hug and never leaves me without a kiss and an I love you. So it should be, because we never know if thats the last time we will see each other. She understands me better than any living person on this earth, even my mother. She loves me with all my faults and excepts me for who I am anyway. Who could ask for more than that?

When Im weak, shes strong. Shes smart and honest and loyal and motherly. I can tell her anything and I know she will not judge me. She may ask me why this happened, or how could I let this happen, but she will never judge me. I know with her, we can get through anything, no matter what life throw at us.

We have each others back, and we know nothing can ever take that away from us. We dont speak of these things. We just know them. Its in her actions every day, and my actions towards her, that cements our love.

She calls me just to say she was thinking of me, even after 42years of marriage. She may buy me one of my favorite things for no apparent reason. She makes me feel special and lets me know that I matter. She is my rock. Theres an old saying, Behind successful man is a great woman, its so true. Because all the success of my life, would mean nothing to me without her to share it with.

I hear of so many divorces and hard times for couples. Our love has always come easy. Anyone can have this. You just have to work at it by giving each other 110% every single day. There is no divorce, you will work it out. There is no anger or hate or hurt. Do not settle for less. Settle for more. If you do that, you will find her.

My parents are in their mid-70s. My dad married her when she was 16 and he was 18. She is English (from England — they grow up faster in Europe); he was in the Army stationed in England. They had 4kids by the time she was 23 and we came to the States in 1962.

Fast-forward 47 years now and my parents have been married 55years. 15 years ago, they both retired and moved to Oregon to live in a retirement community out in the country. He wears a hearing aid, but never puts it in. I think he does so he doesnt have to listen to her nagging.

They are so bored with each other, especially during winter months when its cold and they cant go outside. They just bought a big screen TV and my dad sits in front of it and pretends to watch it. Most of the time hes napping, and hell watch anything. Hes faking out my mom so she thinks hes busy doing something. Because if hes not doing anything, she will find something for him to do, which he doesnt want to do. This is the game they play with each other.

Hes a neat-nick. So when she takes something out to bake something, or sew something, or shes looking for something. Shell go to the bathroom and come back and my dad already has it all put away. This drives her crazy. He now gets mad if she wants to do things like rearrange the furniture, or repaint a room or the house, or wash the car. Mostly anything strenuous, because that means that she is going to start it; he will feel guilty for not helping her with it; she will get tired and hes going to end up finishing it. This is another game they play.

They pick on each other all the time. She nags him and he ignores her. When hes had enough of her nagging, hell yell at her and shell stop. Hes so henpecked, I feel sorry for him. She bitches about him all the time. I tell her to appreciate him while hes still here because she wont have him forever and shell miss him when hes gone, if he goes first. That helps stop her nagging.

They love each other, divorce was never an option. They drive each other crazy but they never give up on each other. They are a team. They finish each others sentences. Sometimes I think, God, I hope I dont end up like them. Other times, I think, God, I hope I do end up like them. Such is life.