Tom's Mumblings

I just dont get it. Why would you willingly let someone put a clamp on your tongue, hold it out and stick a big needle through it? Why? How is this fun or attractive? When I worked at Wal-Mart, we had a girl who had just had it done. Her tongue was so swollen that for three days she couldnt talk or eat. Why would you do that?

The rumor is they do it so they can give a man more pleasure with their mouth. I dont think so. Get creative here. One little ball-bearing thing in your mouth is not going to do it for me. Get creative. Buy some Pop Rocks or something. Hum a tune while youre doing it. Suck on some ice, anything but that little ball-bearing thing. Yech!!!

Then we have the eyebrow earring. What is that all about? It looks stupid and it looks like it would hurt because you have that brow bone right there. That hurts. Have you ever hit that? Pain is unbelievable.

Then we have the lip ring. What does this do?? Really. How do you kiss someone with this ring of metal in your lip? How do you eat? How do you do anything? Id be afraid youd get it caught on something and rip it out of your face. That would not be a pretty picture. Ive seen people that have two of them, one each side of their bottom lip. They look like wild boar with tusks in their face. How is this attractive?

Whats with the spear thing going through the top of your ear, so it looks like a spear went through your ear? That looks really lame.

I dont get pieced bellybuttons either. Not only would that hurt but it is NOT attractive. I dont care how many gems you hang there. Not attractive. Give me a naked bellybutton any day.

They thought my generation was weird. The weird thing about facial piercings? When youre looking at someone with them, you cannot NOT look at them. Thats the only thing your eyes are drawn towards, is their weird face rings. They know youre staring at them and theyre giving you dirty looks because youre glaring at them. They got them in the first place to get attention. When that works and you got the attention, dont get pissy about people staring at you.

Insane. Absolutely insane. I dont get it. I know I sound like a crony for saying this but someones got to say it. These kids are idiots. Cant wait to see their yearbook. Can you imagine!!!

Im in my mid-40s and have such a completely different attitude when it comes to sex today than I did when I was younger. Before it was a sport, which it is no longer for me.

Sex is so complicated. Women are complicated. Its all complicated. Women come in so many different models. You have the screamers. You have the dead fish that just lay there and wait for you to ravish them. They want to be serviced and give nothing back, which leads to absolutely no motivation on my part and I wont play that game. Sex is a two-party dance and if Im playing, I want someone who knows how to dance, rather than someone I have drag through it.

I consider myself a good lover and I wont waste my skills on just anybody. I have to really have genuine feelings for that person, and vice-versa. I am sharing my secret side with someone. Im making my innermost feelings and myself vulnerable to being hurt. Im letting them into my personal space and it is very personal to me. So I want a willing partner, not just someone that shows up.

There are so many women to choose from. Its getting the right one that leaves me always wanting more, and who can always surprise me. Shes hard to find and I know her when I meet her. Something about her intrigues me from the start. She knows who she is and what she wants. She knows where shes been and she knows where shes going. Shes sexy, classy and at the same time can be the innocent girl next door, depending on her mood and the mood she wants to share with me. I will find her, but it takes time and patience, which I have plenty of.

I miss having sex as frequent as I used to have it, but now its all about quality not quantity, so its worth waiting for. Because when it does happen, its very, very special to me and I dont take it lightly. I know that she wont either. So for now I do what I need to do. I notice women, more than theyre even aware of, and Im looking for that someone with that special spark to ignite my fire. Theyre few and far between but theyre so worth it when you find them. Good luck on your search.

I started smoking cigarettes in high school, at 16. I did it because my friends did it and it made us look cool, and the girls would flirt and come over to bum cigarettes off us. We were cool.

I got older and everyone at work smoked. Gees, those were the days. In the conference room, everybody smoked. You couldnt even see each other because the room was so smoky. I dont know how we did it. Plus our clothes must have reeked!!

Then we had people who had allergies and didnt want to be around the smokers. We could no longer smoke at our desks. We were told we could only smoke in the break rooms. So everyone started smoking in the break rooms. Then the employees who didnt smoke complained they couldnt eat in the same room with everyone smoking in there. So then they told us we had to go outside the building or out on the patios to have a cigarette. So we did that.

Then youd get in the elevator to go back to your office and youd realize how much you stunk when the elevator door closed. It was horrible. Your fingers smelled terrible. Your breath was bad. You were a mess.

I was wheezing at night, had a smokers cough and I just began to hate being a smoker. I smoked at clubs (in the disco days) when I had a drink, but I really didnt smoke that much during working hours anymore. But having a smoke after sex, eating and with a drink was okay.

This went on for a few more years and then I just had enough of it all. I quit cold turkey. One day I just said, Thats it. Enough. Im done.

Now I cannot stand being around smokers. They are rude. Theyll blow smoke in your face. Theyll put their cigarette butts out on your lawn, on the sidewalk, your planter boxes. They dont care. Theyre disgusting. They try to smoke in your car and your house, but they dont smoke in their house.

I will not date a smoker. I can smell them anywhere on anyone, and will not tolerate it. I cant even believe I used to be one. I find it so offensive now. None of my friends smoke and when people ask me if I mind if they do, I tell them, Yes, I do. Please dont do it around me. Some get bitchy, but I dont care. I have the right to breathe. If you want to breathe in my space, then you dont bring your cigarettes in it.